Regret

We all have moments in our lives we look back on and feel a twinge of regret.  The odd missed opportunity, the  "if I'd only.....", the really profound ones never leave my mind.  For quite some time now I have been unburdened by regret, I live my life as fully as possible, not taking the gifts and blessings for granted, secretly thanking God throughout the day for all that I have.

I have a new regret that keeps touching my heart and my brain, I try to brush it away like so many gnats flying at my face, to no avail, I can still see her sweet face so disappointed yet so kind.  I  recently found myself in line at K Mart behind two young adolescent girls.  I did as I always do in public places, a study into the human species.  Age ?  probably 13 or younger.  I moved from there to general appearance.  It was challenging to  get past the lack of hygiene both of these girls displayed, oily hair, visibly dirty hands, but  there was more to them than their outward appearance, despite the rough and ragged exteriors, they  had an air of trying at being pretty.  Only a girl would know what I mean, that first awareness that others may notice our appearance, the conscious effort of "getting ready".  But I digress.

The taller of the two young ladies was making a purchase, no adult just her and her bestie shopping at KMart, you could see they were excited.  The taller girl was clutching in her arms, a vividly colored polyester comforter, very hip, chartreuse, hot pink and purples. Now having very little as a young girl, I can understand just what a  purchase like this means.  This comforter, this vividly colored, slick and slippery, K Mart comforter will bring light and joy to her bedroom at home.  I found my self excited for
her !  The purchase progressed and the a gift card was presented for payment, then tragedy !!  only four dollars left on the twelve dollar gift card !  I wanted to cry !  More shocking than that, the comforter was marked down to ten dollars !

This moment in time will replay in my mind until my eyes close for the very last time.  I came within inches of offering to pay for the remainder of the comforter, than a tiny voice in my head told me people watching will think me odd.  Where did that come from ????  I have regretted this missed opportunity over and over again since it happened.  I do believe that I was put there in that line at KMart, it was ordained that I be in that spot at that exact moment in time, I was placed there as a test to my kindness and I failed miserably.  I cannot recapture that chance to be kind that chance to bring joy, that is what bothers me so much, I think of the joy that would have shown in her face if I'd only...................