A LETTER TO MY REVOLUTIONARY ANCESTORS

 It is July the 4th.  For Americans it is a day filled with BBQ's, parades, 5k runs, family gatherings, and in the culmination of the day, fireworks will  streak the sky in possibly every city across the nation.
I often wonder how many of all those millions of Americans caught up in the revelry ever stop to think  of  those brave young men, who grabbed there muskets and ran when called upon. 
The average militiaman for the American Revolution were farmers, they had fields to tend, livestock  to feed most probably raising a family so that they would eventually have extra hands to help them with these chores. 
 Many of them lived on the edge of the wilderness, which in 1775 meant that there were large active communities of Native Americans nearby.  The relationships were not always friendly and leaving a mother and several children alone on a farm in the wilderness was not a safe thing to do.  
But they came, they came with the clothes on their backs and a musket in their hands, they organized from town to town, lists were made, Captains and Colonels were chosen and together this rag tag, mish mash of farmers, and craftsman, and business men fought and defeated  one the greatest Empires in the world.  

I am so pleased to speak these names and write them here:



Abel Bagley  My 6th Great Grandfather  Born July 4th!!    in Amesbury Massachusetts was among the number that fought at Lexington and Concord, he fought with Capt Joseph Pages Co for 19 1/2 day before returning home.  Abel would  give three more years to  the Continental Army.

Thomas Pearson  My 5th Great Grandfather  born in Newbury Massachusetts and living in Durham Maine by 1770, he enlisted on June 25th 1778 and was stationed in Rhode Island for six months.  Looking at my records he left his wife in the frontier of Durham Maine with 5 children under the age of 18.  

Benjamin Cilley  My 4th Great Grandfather born in Gorham Maine 1761 and enlisted at the age of 18. He served three years under Capt Abner Wade of Colonel M. Jacksons regiment. 

William Cilley  My 5th Great Grandfather born in Kingston New Hampshire 1734.
He served as a seaman on the brig "Freedom" under Capt John Clouston Massachusetts sea service.

I have only recently met you all, and wish so deeply that I could meet you in the flesh.  My outlook on myself, who I am, what I am, has changed so much since learning about your lives.  How does a family of 8 move all they own from Newbury Massachusetts over 100 miles to Durham Maine threw the wilderness ?  Did you know what was about to spring from your brave acts?   The birth of an entirely  new government, a new nation ?  
Thank you all for your bravery and belief in a grand idea that took hold and is thriving still almost 250 years later. 

I promise to find you, where you are laying at rest, where you may have once lived, possibly even one of your ancestors so I can thank  them personally.  I will never forget you, I will share you with each following generation so that your names will be a beacon to hold up on this glorious holiday when we celebrate the birth of our nation.



With Love,
 Your distant grand daughter 
Anna Gretta

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Henry Emmett

Henry Emmett, my 2nd great grandfather, was born in Bishops Waltham England in 1849.  He was the third child and second son of Henry Emmet and Sarah Hatch.  Henry's family historically worked as hired farm hands on local estates, and were given housing by the land owners as part of their employment.  The land in the photo above was worked by Henry's father and possibly himself in the mid to late 1800's.

 I was fortunate enough to travel to Henry's hometown of Bishops Waltham and do a little time traveling  into the past.  After spending a week in this lovely region I realized several important things about myself.  I understand so much better now just why I love to till the soil and make things grow, its in my blood !  Oh, and my fascination with Jane Austen ? my love of all things English country, the rolling hills and pastures, the country lanes and turnstiles ? well she was living not very  far away from Henry's parents when they were young.  All the imagery in her writing was the visual that I took in as I traveled around Hampshire.

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Writing in Venice

I recently had the chance to venture to Venice Itlay !  This was not your average trip to Europe, there were two very important things happening simultaneously.   One,  this would be my very first travel experience all on my own, and two, I was attending my very first writing workshop !

The experience of navigating unknown airports and landing in a country where English was not the primary language was more than daunting to me.  I have always had my trusty hubby/Sherpa/money exchanger/schedule keeper by my side, this time I was on my own, large and in charge.   Prior to  booking the trip back in February I had changed my mind at least a dozen times.  Each day  I would open the website hosting the workshop and imagine myself strolling the exotic back streets of Venice, hopping on a water taxi,  or ordering an espresso and pastry in Italian.  And then fear would settle in and I would imagine countless disasters that could be fall me,  I could lose my passport, get lost, get robbed !,  in my mind epic dangers awaited a single woman in a foreign country.   Then I saw this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt

 "Do one thing everyday that scares you."

Well that was it, I booked the workshop, booked my tickets and added a few extra days after the workshop to really explore the city on my own.

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25,000 Mornings

The average human has 25,000 or so days on earth.  Wow !  Yes 25,000.  Thinking of life in those terms, finite days, hours, and minutes can really put things into perspective.  When one thinks of the passing of time in those terms, you  can really begin to cherish each moment, each interaction.  Imagine, you could be two weeks from the day when your allotted number of days is over.  Morbid thought I know, but there are people out there who are actually living that day, right now.

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Disdain for the Rain

For as long as I can remember I have struggled to grow my most favorite flower of all, the tall and whimsical delphinium.  There should be a most wanted poster for the mayhem  and death I have caused for this species of plant.  For the first time in my life I have finally cultivated a rich (well in my small world) crop of lovely, healthy plants that are thriving and putting on quite a show here at Dragonfly Hill.  Enter.................heavy rains and ocean winds.   Island weather here in Maine can be a challenge to say the least for any gardener.  Over the very cold and and very windy winter I lost my twelve year old New Dawn Rose climber, a very sad day indeed.  But today, gale force winds and high sea warnings mean bad news for the Lobster man's traps and also  for tall and stalky garden plants.

At this time of summer at Dragonfly Hill the fireflies are out in full force, and the peonies are winding down.   They  have the potential to be very messy, dropping all their lovely petals in the heavy winds and rain.  Knowing we had a storm coming, I managed to get into the garden yesterday and cut the large drooping heads of most of the peonies.  This will save me loads of time picking up the slimy leavings of petals strewn all over the garden beds.

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Sweet Potato Waffles

We are loving our new spiralizer here at Dragonfly Hill, the possibilities are endless for the veggies we find at the farmers market.  This morning for breakfast we whipped up some waffles with the new waffle maker Brian's daughter Lindsey got for him for fathers day.  This blog post is an homage to Inspiralized 

http://inspiralized.com/2013/10/20/pumpkin-spice-sweet-potato-noodle-waffles-gluten-free/

This is a wonderful blog with fabulous recipes have a good long look !!

Using the medium blade spiral up the sweet potatoes, I used one potato each for the waffles but I found for us one good sized sweet potato would do the trick if we halved it.

The potatoes need to be softened up just a bit before they are put in the waffle maker so cook in a large skillet with a little cooking spray till you have a softish consistency.  The recipe I followed from Insprilized said 10 mins.

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A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Lindsey,

I remember the day you were born, a cool October afternoon, the day was filled with visitors coming to meet you and bring presents, a bustle of activity until late evening.  The next morning as the sun rose, I had you all to myself in my room and I took this picture.  I had no idea what lay ahead for us.  I remember in the delivery room I was so overwhelmed by you  that I actually asked the nurse's  permission to  touch you as you lay in the bassinet next to my bed.  I suppose even then I didn't feel that I deserved such a wonderful gift.  I have cherished so many astonishing memories during my  years with you, watching you grow, surrounding yourself with a marvelous circle of friends, becoming  more confident, finding love and slowly but surely making your own place in the world.

 I personally have always thought that you were extraordinary.  As the years have progressed I now see that the world thinks so as well.  Countless times I have been told what a joy you are as a person, as an employee,  and as a friend.  I have watched countless times as you have snipped and glued and sprinkled glitter and, created something special for someone who is hurting, or perhaps not hurting, you just thought it would make them smile.  And you were right.  You have made so many people smile, and is there anything on earth worth more than that?  I had thought that this might be enough to prove that you are a person of worth, but recent events in our lives have proved me wrong.


The last 48 hours of my mothers life have forever altered the way I see you Lindsey.  So strong, so focused, so incredibly caring, I knew you had these qualities, but they shone bright in this horrible crisis,  the ending of a long life.  To sit in a room of impending death takes more than many can muster, it takes a willingness to forget about your own fear or sorrow and remember the one who is about to journey on and what their needs may be.

I sat in awe as you spoke memories and love into her ears, held tight to her hand, and swabbed her dry lips.  I was humbled by your ability to stay close to her and never leave her side despite the hour  of the day or the stressfulness of the situation.  Your presence was an immense comfort to her, I am quite sure of that, I know it was a great comfort to me.  So to say that I am proud does not even touch the surface of the emotions in me, I am altered, forever altered by the amazing woman that you are.

  I believe there are gifts we give throughout our lives, and I don't mean the phsyical or tangible.  A gift given of oneself is much greater than any that can be bought in a store.  You have given a great gift to your Meme, you were there for her at one of her most important moments in her life.   You have also given yourself a great gift, you had the chance to say goodbye, to see her off to her next place, to know she is at peace.   Thank you for your stength, thank you for your love, and thank you for the gift , the final gift that you gave to my mother.

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The Geriatric Dog

Hazel.  Oh where to begin !  A dream dog really, we have all had them in our lives, that one very special dog, kind, patient, not to mention the softest fur I have ever petted in my entire life, she didn't get the nickname "Bunny Dog" for nothing.  This dog has been in our lives for going on 14 years now, longer than we have been married.  Hazel has brought  us insurmountable joy over the years and each day we have with her feels like a gift.  You see about a year ago Hazel developed a seizure disorder that became progressively worse, the prognosis was probable brain tumor.  We put her on some seizure medication that worked for a short period of time but the seizures became worse and the decision needed to be made.  At first we had both said to one another she has had a long and very full fulling life, loved dearly, walked and run daily, possessing a basket filled with dog toys and allowed on every piece of furniture we own.  It was OK to kiss her, hold her, and let her pass over the rainbow bridge. 

 After much more discussion and a few more debilitating seizures we set Hazels appointment for surgery.  Well, over one year later and she is showing no signs of seizures and remains happy and healthy, we are very blessed.

I am not sure why it has taken me so long to see this but we are now living with a geriatric dog.  Hazel still walks miles every day with Daddy and we are hoping she will run again with him once we get back to Florida.  Her appetite is wonderful, she is not over weight, and still can be easily enticed into a game with squeaky Mr Squirrel. 

 I see the signs of her age too, no longer able to jump up on our bed, it is a nightly ritual to lift her up and let her settle.  The sleeping !!  we kindly joke about Hazel's 10th morning nap and not to disturb her for a walk until she has surpassed nap number 15.  When she is awake her old enthusiasm for play is still there but she tires more quickly.  After a more vigorous walk or run you can see that her muscles are sore the next day, and she finds it hard sometimes to settle into a comfortable position when sleeping.  Brian brilliantly found her a dog bed that is made of memory foam, the perfect place for an old dog to rest her bones, he is the best Daddy.

 I have been taking care of older people for many years, and had thought that dogs would fall into the same sorts of health troubles as humans do and most of their issues are the same as older humans.  I concocted a list of things people with older dogs should consider for their fur babies, I learned quite a bit and have taken steps to work on all these areas for Hazel.  Important to know that Hazel comes from a line of Lewellyn Setters that have historically lived to 16 and 17 years,  I hope I am not jinxing myself !!

• Digestive system: Gastric mucosa atrophies, hepatocyte (liver cell) numbers decrease.

• Endocrine system: Pancreatic enzyme secretion decreases, hyperplasia of pituitary or adrenal glands.

• Integument: Skin becomes inelastic, footpads hyperkeratinize (get thicker), claws become brittle, muzzle grays.

• Cardiovascular system: Lungs lose elasticity, vital capacity (volume) decreases, cough reflex and expiratory capacity decrease, cardiac output decreases.

• Genitourinary system: Kidney weight decreases, prostate gland enlarges, testes atrophy (intact dogs), prepuce becomes pendulous.

• Musculoskeletal system: percent of body weight represented by fat increases; muscle, bone, and cartilage mass are lost; bones become brittle; bone marrow becomes fatty and hypoplastic.

• Nervous system: number of cells decreases; reduced reaction to stimuli; altered memory; diminished visual acuity, hearing, taste perception, and smell.

What ever changes are to come we will weather them all together, she is the light of our lives and we are determined everyday to make each one, for her, the best day ever.  To my dear sweet friend who so recently sent her most beloved friend across the rainbow bridge, I still think of you and her everyday, and you still remain the best Dog Mommy ever................you know who you are.

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Home again

“Oh the wild joys of living! The leaping from rock to rock ... the cool silver shock of the plunge in a pool's living waters.”

                                                                                            Robert Browning

We are home again.  There are far too many stories, anecdotes, fabulous food experiences and beautiful sights to cover in this short post.  I just want to say we are home, returned again to our cocoon of loveliness, a space in which we can walk silently in the darkness and know where each object resides, our womb of homeyness that makes us sigh deeply with relief that it is ours and we are here.

 Now after lit-er-ally eating our way through Vienna and Prague tonight we subsist on only those things that grow from the earth and not walk on the earth.   A complete veggie night (well and some grapes too, in the form of Austrian wine, that's a fruit !!)  Perhaps our systems will be washed clean of all the heavy foods we ate and thoroughly enjoyed.  All things in moderation !

Roasted Cauliflower with Parmesan and olive oil

 A  creamy white bean and veggie soup

 and a salad, greens and fruits (the frisee is Brians favorite and he is welcome to it !)

Very shortly we will put on our jammies and slide into the downy fluffiness that is our favorite couch (with Hazel at our feet of course) to share each others company and look back on our latest adventure.  

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October............again.

Well its here, October.   I say that for reasons other than celebrating chilly mornings, apples, and the changing colors on the trees.   October is different for me now, not less lovely or cherished but it has become a guarded time.........secretly.  It is pink ribbon time,  breast cancer awareness month, a time I steel myself for, a time that pulls me back to 2008 and down the rabbit hole that is breast cancer.   A few times it has caught me unawares, and has set difficult and hidden memories  swirling in motion, like those small tornadoes of dried leaves blown around by the wind.

I suppose it is a form of protection, bury it deep and it does not exist, but it is there, dangerously near the surface and the smallest of events can cause  the gates to come flying open.   Like last year, when a friend posted photos of a young breast cancer survivor wearing only her underwear.   When I opened the link and saw the pictures for the first time I was stunned, it was me, we had identical scars, in all the same places.  I was impressed with her bravery and strangely relived that  no one knew what I really looked like without my clothes on.  The feelings of shame and loss subsided, and life resumed its rhythm again.  Then again in the spring out of no where those deeply hidden feelings were out again.  We had just become members of the YMCA and I was swimming daily as part of my training for an upcoming triathlon.  Of course it wasn't lost on me that I would NOT be undressing in front of other woman, and not because of shame but more of a deterrent to making them feel uncomfortable.  I mean to see my naked body covered in scars could be disturbing to anyone that is unprepared.  I had not mentally prepared myself for what it would feel like to be in room of woman of all ages that are  in the nude.  Woman comfortable with their own nudity, at ease as they walked freely around the locker room.  You see on a daily basis I live with the vision of what my body is, I have become assimilated to that vision as normal, or my normal.  Seeing what normal female bodies actually looked like set off something in me,  a feeling of loss I had not really touched upon.  I found myself welling up, uncontrollable anguish was taking over, I had to GET OUT of that locker room or I was going to become completely unglued.  Just as I made it to the car the flood gates opened and I sobbed all the way home.  Poor Brian, he had no idea what had happened and frankly at the time neither did I.  It took some time and insight to realize just why I had reacted the way that I had.  I really have never allowed myself to mourn my losses,  I should just be happy to be alive, right ?  For so long the multiple surgeries and near death sentence has been something that happened, something I worked through, something that has passed.  I have always secretly cringed when people refer to me as a survivor.  I don't feel as if I have done anything that miraculous, I was given a gift actually and I feel guilty at times that it was me and not someone more deserving.  So you see to ever feel sadness or pain for what has happened to me it just seems like an insult to all those that did not survive, all those wonderful mothers, sisters, daughters and wives who were not given the chance that I have been given.

It feels very foreign to me to say that I have emotional pain regarding breast cancer, I am happy everyday, I am healthy, I am ALIVE, I live everyday determined to suck every last ounce of joy out of the time I have. I have never asked "why me", from the beginning I saw it as a lottery and I just ended up with the short stick, it could have been ANYONE, it just happened to be me.


This is the link to that very very brave young mother that bared all proudly.
http://jezebel.com/breast-cancer-survivor-goes-naked-on-facebook-to-raise-1521164110

So its October, look carefully when you purchase products with the pink ribbon icon, not all of them are helping the cause,  some of them are just trying to make a buck. 

Make sure you ask those that you love if they are due or overdue for a mammogram or check up, urge them, no FORCE them to make an appointment.  Early intervention saves lives, it saved mine.  

And please be kind to one another, just try to remember in your daily lives that every one's got something, you just can't see it from the outside.

6 months before cancer

6 years after cancer

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Whats For Dinner ?

Welcome to the first installment of what I hope will become a regular occurrence on this blog.  I have shared recipes in the past but now I have given these types of posts a name,  Whats For Dinner ?   It could be something I am cooking or it just might be something someone else is cooking.   After all we do travel quite a bit and we have sampled many wonderful dishes, so perhaps now and then you will also see recipes and dishes from restaurants we have been to.

So on the menu tonight is Carmelized Onion and Lentil soup.  All the foods we are eating tonight will be vegetable based, having just returned from New Orleans, we have been less then careful about what we have been eating  over the last four days and its time to rein things in.  The weather is just so conducive to a piping hot soup, fall and soups go hand in hand.

Today Brian made a quick trip to the farmers market and bought some lovely heirloom tomatoes and some yellow beets, I had some sweet onions left over from the last trip to the market and used those in the soup.  This soup is so incredibly easy to make it will become one of your favorite go to recipes.

Carmelized Onion and Lentil Soup

1 Tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

1 large onion, thinly sliced

2 cans (15 oz each) lintels, rinsed and drained

2 1/4 cups low-sodium chicken or vegetable broth

    course salt and ground pepper

2 tablespoons chopped fresh herbs, what ever flavor you like

In a medium saucepan heat oil over medium-high heat.  Add onion and cook, stirring until soft and edges are brown, I like mine deeply caramelized, 15 minutes should do the trick.  Add lentils and broth and season with salt and pepper.  Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer and cook about 10 more minutes to heat the lentils through.  I use my immersion blender to make the soup a bit creamier, if you don't have one a potato masher works just as well.

per serv.  229 cal; 3.8 g fat : 16 g protein ; 33.1g carb ; 15.4 g fiber,  serving 1 1/2 cups

The soup is packed with protein and fiber, which will help to keep you full and keep your blood sugar stable.  Lentils are low in fat, high in fiber  and packed with protein, also onions have been shown to lower blood-sugar levels.

I hope you will give this a try and let me know how you liked it, or share one of your recipes for a great soup with me !

Hazel worried about what happens after we eat all those lentils.

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The Secret Life of Cake

My heart belongs to Walter..........Mitty that is.  I have fallen irretrievably in love with this movie, it may even replace Love Actually as my all time favorite feel good, heart swelling, all is right with the world movie.  I have never been a big fan of Ben Stiller but he certainly  nailed it in his directorial debut and captured my heart in this dreamy little film.  It was so refreshing to see Kristen Wiig in a role that scratches the surface of funny but doesn't dig so deep it leaves a mark.  Her heart felt, soft and silly approach to Ben Stillers love interest  Cheryl draws you in and has you cheering for her to succeed right from the start.    I must admit I have watched the film almost a dozen times now, ah Yah!  I said a dozen, now you know my secret shame !

I suppose the attraction for me was the fact that this film hit the sweet spot that currently rules my life.  Seek, find, experience, hold fast, make memories, push the envelope, all things I am determined to do.  The vistas of Iceland are breathtaking, yet another reason to travel there (only a 4 1/2 hour flight from Boston !), you see I thought it was all about hot springs, Blue Lagoons, and Aurora Borealis, oh I was so wrong.  Oh and, watching Sean Penn slowly crook his fingers to draw me in............NEVER will I become tired of that.  Who knew his eyes were such and amazing shade of blue.

For those of you that have seen the film you are very familiar with Walter's Mom's famous dessert.  Clementine cake.  Personally, before the film I had never even heard of Clementine cake.  I have wanted to make this dessert from the first time I laid eyes on it, clementines in a cake ?  oh yes please.  Well today is the day.  Brian has been gone for a few days and will arrive home shortly to this

I haven't cut into and I am just busting at the seams to have a bite !!!


Welcome home Brian !!

See link below for recipe

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/nigella-lawson/clementine-cake-recipe.html

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Presto its pesto

Summer for me has many different flavors that come to mind and many different foods that any other time of the year are doable but just taste better in summer.  Corn on the cob, burgers on the grill, strawberries grown in Maine, anything !  fresh from the garden, and pesto.   Yes pesto.  I never had pesto as a child, the culinary culture at our home was all american middle class, white bread, sugary cereal was king, and every meal consisted of meat vegetable and potatoes.  It wasn't until I started working as a waitress and had access to a kitchen other than my mothers that I learned there was a whole other world of food out there.  

I started making pesto when I had my first real garden,  I lived on Morgan St. in Waterville and  I grew more basil than is healthy for any family of four and needed some way to use all the excess, enter pesto.  It is miraculously easy to make and has endless uses, pasta of course, but there is also eggs, pizza, a spread on sandwiches, tossed in warm veggies, salad dressing, the uses are really all up to you, what ever you feel would taste yummy with pesto is probably right.

Ingredients

2 cups packed fresh basil leaves

2 cloves garlic

1/4 cup pine nuts

2/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil, divided

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

1/2 cup freshly grated Pecorino cheese

Directions

Combine the basil, garlic, and pine nuts in a food 

processor and pulse until coarsely chopped. Add 1/2 cup

of the oil and process until fully incorporated and

 smooth. Season with salt and pepper.

If using immediately, add all the remaining oil and pulse

 until smooth. Transfer the pesto to a large serving bowl 

and mix in the cheese.

If freezing, transfer to an air-tight container and drizzle 

remaining oil over the top. Freeze for up to 3 months. 

Thaw and stir in cheese.

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